People see you as kind and selfless because you put their needs before yourself.
People love you because you always say yes to all their requests.
Puro na lang ‘yung iba, pero paano ka naman?
Stop pretending and be true to yourself.
Kailan mo ba ma-re-realize that you can’t be everything to everyone?
Dahil sa ginagawa mo, pati health mo affected. Nagkakasakakit ka na, hindi ka na masyado nakakatulog. You’re often worried, distressed, and depressed because you overcommit to things na hindi mo naman talaga kaya, sabi na ‘yan ni Linda Tillman Ph.D in an article entitled 21 Tips to Stop Being a People-Pleaser by Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S. of PsychCentral.
Admit na nauubos ka rin and you need help.
Scroll down to see these 3 tips on how you can stop being a people-pleaser.
- Ipakita mo where you draw the line.
Stop giving them the license to control your every decision and communicate your boundaries.
Pero dapat alamin mo muna kung ano ba ang priorities mo sa buhay, sabi ni Margarita. Ask yourself, “Ano-ano ang mga bagay na pinaka-importante sa akin?”
So, the next time someone asks for favor, you will be more confident.
Plus, it’s okay to halt and say, “I’ll think about it first.” In that way, mas may time and freedom ka to assess if kakayanin mo ba talaga mag-commit, dagdag ni Margarita.
If ever na mag yes ka nga, give the person a time frame. Para ma-realize niya na hindi lang sa kanya umiikot ang mundo mo.
- Don’t over explain.
You don’t need to explain why you need to say no to them and defend that your reason is valid.
Magiging komplikado lang dahil hahanap lang sila ng butas para ma-convince ka that their request is more important than what you’re doing, says Shay Youngblood in her article entitled Stop Being a Pushover! published in Oprah.com.
Tapos ma-gu-guilty ka na naman. You’re tired of being tied on someone else’s, right?
Huwag kalimutan ang tip number 1.
You can try these straight to the point responses recommended by Shay, “Sorry, I can’t this time.” or “I’m afraid I’m busy that day.”
- Allow yourself to be healed.
Aminin mo man o hindi, may malalim kang hugot why you keep behaving this way.
Check yourself because it may be an issue of self-worth or a history of maltreatment among other reasons, Amy Morin of Psychology Today explained in her article 10 Signs You’re a People-Pleaser.
You need to trace where it all began for you to totally heal and break free from it.
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