Although your intentions are pure in extending help and encouragement to your family or friend who lost a loved one this Christmas, saying “huwag ka nang malungkot. Ayaw ka niyang nalulungkot ngayong Pasko,” will only make it worse.
Wala na ba siyang karapatan to grieve?
According to Megan Devine, psychotherapist and grief advocate in her YouTube video entitled How do you help a grieving friend?, “You can’t heal somebody’s pain by trying to take it away from them.”
So, instead of telling them what they should do, feel, or think, here are how you can help better support your grieving loved one.
ASK
Kahit na napagdaanan mo na ito, understand that each person copes with grief differently. Rather than telling the person kung ano ang dapat niyang gawin, ask.
Devine said in her interview with AM Northwest that you can ask them what would make them feel good or how you can best support them during this time. Mahalaga na you check how they’re feeling before making a move.
LISTEN
Sabi ni Marie Curie in her article Supporting a grieving friend or relative, kapag nag- open up siya sa’yo about sa nararamdaman niya, just listen – even if you feel uncomfortable. Your goal is to let your friend or family feel secured in expressing their emotions kahit hindi ka nagbibigay ng advice or nagta-try to cheer them up. If they want to keep quiet or change the topic, then it’s fine. ‘Yung presence mo lang sapat na.
REMINISCE
Huwag ka matakot to say the name and talk about memories of his or her loved one. According to Refuge in Grief in their article How Can You Help A Grieving Friend During The Holidays? mentioning the names of the one who passed away will not hurt them dahil gusto rin nila maalala ang mga ito.
FOLLOW-UP
Don’t just remember them during Christmas. Kumustahin mo pa rin sila even after the holidays. In an article by Hospice of Central Ohio, The National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization said that you “Remind them you are thinking of them and the loved one who died. Visits, cards and phone calls speak volumes about how much you care.”
PRAY
Finally, the best thing you can do for the person ay ang ipagdasal mo sila. Pray that by faith, your grieving friend would accept the hope of Jesus, explains Family Life in their article Giving Holiday Hope to the Grieving. “You may want to send them an occasional note telling that you are praying and quoting a favorite Bible verse,” they said.
Be an encouragement to your grieving friend this Christmas! We want to join you in prayer for your grieving friend or relative! Tawagan lang ang 8737-0-777 or text 0999-227-1927. You can also send us an email at connect (at) icanbreakthrough.com or message us sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page at Instagram account.