Our heartfelt condolences to you, Breaker. Hindi namin ma-imagine the pain you’re feeling now, but we are praying for peace and comfort for you during this difficult time.

Andito kami para sa ‘yo.

Grief and loss 01

Sobrang sad mo ba?

Shocked?

Worried sa future?

Irritated?

Confused?

Kung hindi ka pa aware, what you are going through right now is grief.

“Grief is the natural response to the loss of a person or things that was valuable or loved,” sabi ni Psychologist Nick Wignall in his article How to Cope with Grief in a Healthy Way: A Practical Guide [2021].

Alam namin na part of you just wants to “get over it” or “move on” for whatever reason. But instead of giving your grief a deadline or if you’re thinking of running away from it, take the time to be kind and accept yourself kapag nakaka-experience ka ng range of emotions, reactions, thoughts, or memories of your loved one.

Grief and loss 02

“It’s okay to feel anything when you’re grieving. And while many of the emotions we feel are difficult or even painful, it’s important to acknowledge and validate all of them as legitimate and natural,” he added.

Hindi ka nababaliw. There are days na naiiyak ka, minsan masaya ka, minsan wala kang maramdaman, minsan grabe ang pagka-miss mo, or minsan naman gusto mo lang muna mapag-isa. Maging open ka and allow grief to happen.

This leads sa 1st truth na need mong tandaan during the grieving process.

BreakThrough Grief Reminder #1: Alagaan mo ang sarili mo.

Breaker, this is important.

Aminin na natin na binabasa mo pa lang what grief is about, it’s already exhausting. What more when you’re the one dealing with it and facing unfamiliar emotions.

So, grieve well by taking care of your body.

Grief and loss 03

“Carve out time for naps, eat nourishing foods, and drink plenty of water. Alcohol and sugar may seem like quick fixes, but they can actually have the opposite effect,” Meredith Begley says in an article Coping With Grief: 7 Things to Remember When Dealing with Loss from Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center.

Gets namin ‘yung part na wala ka ng time to look after yourself or wala ka ng energy to do things, but it will only get harder to face grief kung hindi ka well-nourished.

Listen to what your body needs, Breaker.

BreakThrough Grief Reminder #2: Maging intentional sa pag-grieve to validate your pain.

Ganito na lang isipin mo, Breaker.

Kapag pilit mong ina-avoid ‘yung difficult emotions mo like sadness, your brain learns that what you’re feeling is a threat. Ibig sabihin, kapag triggered ka ng isang bagay about your loss, your mind goes on high alert which increases the level of your anxiety.

Naramdaman mo na ba ‘yun?

Sabi pa rin ‘yan ni Nick.

Grief and loss 04

Pero when you face those difficult emotions, puwede mong turuan ang mind mo na maging comfortable with your pain and sadness.

“When you approach your grief willingly, it signals to your own mind that what you’re experiencing is painful but not bad or dangerous,” sabi niya.

Ang puwede mong gawin now is to dedicate a special time to just feel sadness and grieve.

Nick said, “You may take 10 minutes each evening and write on your journal about the sadness you’re feeling or about the memories that are most painful for you.”

Examine your thoughts and feelings, Breakers.

BreakThrough Grief Reminder #3: I-offer mo kay LORD ang iyong hurt.

Breaker, hindi ka nag-iisa sa pagluluksa dahil kasama mo si LORD right now.

Sabi Niya sa Matthew 5:4 NIV, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”

Siguro may questions ka in mind that make you bitter or doubt the LORD because of what happened, real talk lang.

Grief and loss 05

But in your mourning and brokenness, He wants you to draw closer to Him where you will find your only source of healing, strength, and hope every day.

Breaker, kung merong Someone who will completely understand you, it’s the LORD.

Hindi mo kailangang maging “okay” sa harapan Niya. He is inviting you to come in your weakness and vulnerability, and allow Him to pick those painful pieces and mend your broken heart.

Ang powerful ng sinabi ni David L. Goetsch in his article Coping With Grief: Ten Things You Can Do (Matthew 5:4), “God wants to guide you through the darkness and grow your faith in the process. He wants you to do more than just regain your emotional equilibrium. He wants you to emerge from your grief stronger and closer to him than you were before the tragedy that turned your life upside down.”

Our prayer is that you would choose to run to the LORD and not turn your back on Him.

‘Wag kang bibitaw, Breaker.

Grieve with the LORD.

Cry with the LORD.

Heal with the LORD.

Slowly but surely, the weight that you’re feeling will be lighter and the days will get better. He loves you and He cares for you.

Grief and loss 06

Maganda ring tandaan that you can’t compare your recovery to others dahil iba-iba tayo mag-handle ng grief.

“Grief is a highly individual process, as unique as the people experiencing it. Everything from our personal histories and culture, to personality traits and temperament, affects how we experience and cope with major loss in our life,” shinare ni Nick.

Kailangan mo ba ng prayers or someone na makakausap lang after reading this?

Sabi sa ‘yo, eh. Andito kami para sa ‘yo. Text us any time at 0999-227-1927 or call 0931-805-0802.

You can also message us sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page or Instagram account or email us.

© 2019 iCanBreakthrough. All Rights Reserved.