Narinig mo na ba ‘to, Breaker?

“Forgive and forget!”

Eh eto?

“Talo ako kapag ako nag-forgive, I’m letting the person off the hook.”

These misconceptions about forgiveness are so common na akala natin ayun ang tama.

Pero ang ending?

Misconceptions about forgiveness 01

Sobrang bigat, Breaker! Para kang may dalang 3 malaking maleta at 2 backpack pero overnight ka lang naman sa bahay ng friend mo.

These baggage represent the bitterness, anger, and hatred that keep weighing you down from breaking through in life.

Today, gusto ka namin tulungan i-remove isa-isa ang mga baggage na ‘yan so you can experience true freedom.

We’ve listed down 5 common misconceptions about forgiveness you need to stop believing now para maka-BreakThrough ka in life!

BreakThrough misconception #1: Kapag nag-forgive ako kailangan ko mag-forget.

So ayun na nga.

For sure narinig mo na ‘yung famous advice na “forgive and forget.”

Pero sabi ni Aaron Truong sa article niyang 5 Myths About Forgiveness That Keep Us Bitter from Discover Counseling na “forgiveness is not selective amnesia.”

Paano mo kakalimutan ‘yung ginawa nung taong nanakit sa ‘yo especially if it traumatized you?

It hurts beyond words tapos sasabihan ka ng “Kalimutan mo na ‘yun!”

Misconceptions about forgiveness 02

Parang sugat lang ‘yan, Breaker, kailangan gamutin hindi ‘yung ignoring the wound tapos sasabihin mo, “Okay lang ako. Okay lang talaga ako.”

“The truth is that recalling the hurt is an essential step to healing it. You can’t forgive someone for something that you’re not acknowledging. Therefore, in order to forgive, you shouldn’t try to forget,” sabi ni Aaron.

Boom! Nabasa mo ‘yun?

“Rather, you should actually take time to remember what happened and reflect on that experience so that God can use it to transform your heart,” he said.

BreakThrough misconception #2: Hindi ko pa feel mag-forgive.

If aantayin mo ‘yung “feeling”, baka hindi na dumating.

Instead, baligtarin mo.

“If we act right, our feelings will follow. Forgiving someone is actually an act of the will. Forgiving is a choice you make, not a feeling you have to stir up,” sabi ni Dawson McAllister in his article 6 Myths About Forgiveness in TheHopeLine.

Puwede mong simulan mag-forgive today, Breaker.

Misconceptions about forgiveness 03

“Eh paano kung ma-trigger na naman ako? Ma-feel ko na naman ‘yung sakit?” you ask.

When that happens (and it will happen), time na para mag-forgive again because forgiveness is not a one-time act. It’s actually a process hanggang dumating ka sa point where it no longer stings.

BreakThrough misconception #3: Forgiveness means kailangan ko maging close ulit sa kanya.

Forgiveness does not mean na kailangan mo mag-reconcile with the person. Nasira na ‘yung trust, eh.

Babalikan mo ba ‘yung jowa mong in-abuse ka physically?

It’s dangerous and unwise for you na gawin mo pa ‘yun.

“Trusting someone who is untrustworthy would only make you open to further abuse or injury, which would be foolish for you and enabling (and unloving) for the offender,” sabi ni Aaron.

Misconceptions about forgiveness 04

Tandaan that trust is earned, okay?

The only time daw na reconciliation is possible is “when the offender truly repents for what they’ve done and can be trusted again,” he said.

BreakThrough misconception #4: Talo ako kapag ako nag-forgive, I’m letting the person off the hook.

Alam mo ang totoo?

Panalo ka ‘pag nag-forgive ka.

Narinig mo na ba ‘yung quote from Marianne Williamson?

Sabi niya, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison yourself and waiting for the other person to die.”

Harsh pero don’t get us wrong, ah. It’s only proper to seek justice after ng ginawa niya sa ‘yo.

Misconceptions about forgiveness 05

Pero what happens talaga when you forgive is you “let God be the one who determines the appropriate course of action in dealing justly with the offending person,” Sam Storms said in his article 5 Myths And 5 Truths About Forgiveness from Grace Church.

Hayaan mong si God ang mag-avenge sa ‘yo. Sabi Niya sa Romans 12:19 ESV, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.”

BreakThrough misconception #5: I’m better than the person who offended me.

Aminin!

Hindi mo man sabihin verbally, pero deep inside may pride.

Ganito ‘yan, Breaker.

Kapag daw may nang offend sa ‘yo, ‘yung level ng pagtingin mo sa person is hindi na tulad ng dati.

Sabi ni Life Coach Anton Reyes in his video How to Forgive Like Jesus (part 1), “This act of devaluing people is caused by our pride. We no longer see that person as someone who is deserving of the same respect, love, mercy, and grace we once gave them.”

Tama?

Tama! Okay lang maging honest, Breaker.

Misconceptions about forgiveness 06

Minsan daw nadadala mo ‘yung pride na ‘to when you finally decide to forgive. Ang nangyayari tuloy, “we forgive from a position of pride. Thinking that we are doing this “underserving” person a big favor by letting them off the hook and forgiving them of their offense. Then we give ourselves a pat on the back for obeying God,” he said.

Aray! Nang-aano ‘to si Coach Anton, eh. Pero if you will search your heart, totoo ‘to.

Tapos, eto pa.

Kapag may ginawa na namang mali ‘yung taong finorgive mo, “we feel that our forgiveness was abused and wasted, and it makes us feel that this person is now even more unworthy of our forgiveness and mercy,” he said.

Ano, Breaker? Kaya pa?

Truth hurts but it will set you free. You can BreakThrough!

Ang bottom line dito is you’re not better than the other person who offended you kasi lahat tayo sinners.

Misconceptions about forgiveness 07

Sabi nga sa Romans 3:23 TPT, “For we all have sinned and are in need of the glory of God.”

Alam mo ‘yung quote na “you can’t give what you don’t have”?

Ibig sabihin you can’t give true forgiveness if you haven’t received true forgiveness and ayan ang gift ino-offer sa ‘yo ni God today! Walang bayad ‘yan, ‘wag ka mag-alala.

When God sent Jesus to die here on earth 2,000 years ago?

Jesus performed the greatest act of love to tell you na YOU ARE FORGIVEN, and YOU ARE SET FREE!

Gusto pa namin i-share ‘to sa ‘yo, Breaker! Dali click here and ie-explain namin sa ‘yong mabuti what Jesus did for you.

Okay. Hinga muna.

Our prayer is mas naliwanagan ka when it comes to the subject of forgiveness because we want you to BreakThrough in life.

Feel free to reach out to us kung may questions ka pa or concerns, text us anytime sa 0999-227-1927 or call 8-737-0-777.

Kung kailangan mo ng someone to talk to or someone to pray for you, message ka lang sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page or Instagram account or email us.

Don’t go through life alone.