So nag-away kayo because?
Cheret!
Hindi na naka-move on sa “because” ni Kris Aquino, eh.
Biro lang, Breaker, nakasimangot ka na naman kasi.
Ano bang pinag-awayan niyo?
Nalimutan niyang mag-update? Wala pa kayong ipon for the future? Na-disappoint mo siya?
Simple reason or complicated reason man ‘yan, kaya niyo ‘tong lagpasan, okay?
We will help you BreakThrough together.
Ang conflicts, disagreements, and misunderstandings nangyayari talaga ‘yan sa isang relationship.
Bakit?
“By design, men and women are wired differently—but on top of that, individuals have different temperaments. We come from different family backgrounds and bring different traditions, habits, and thoughts into a relationship,” sabi ni Adrian Rogers in his article How to Handle Conflict in Marriage from OnePlace.com.
Pero that doesn’t mean na kailangang humantong sa break up, kailangan lang…
BreakThrough Relationship Conflict Tip #1: Makinig.
Bago mo sabihing “Ayoko na! Break na tayo!”, na-try mo na bang pakinggan ‘yung side niya?
And kung nakinig ka nga, inintindi mo ba?
Masakit mang sabihin pero totoo ‘yung sinasabi nila na “not everything is about you,” nasaktan ka pero nasaktan din siya, Breaker.
“Eh alam ko na naman sasabihin niya!” you say.
Ganito kasi ‘yan, Breaker.
“When you interrupt your partner or assume that you know what they’re thinking, you’re not giving them a chance to express themselves. Even if you are confident that you know where your partner is coming from or know what they’re going to say, you could still be wrong, and your partner will still feel like you’re not listening,” sabi ni Gwendolyn Seidman Ph.D. in her article 10 Tips for Solving Relationship Conflicts by Psychology Today.
So, hayaan mo i-express ng partner mo ‘yung sarili niya fully ng walang interruption.
After niyang magsalita, puwede mong sabihin, “Tama ba ako ng understanding? Sabi mo…”
“Repeat it as you understand it. Then if you’ve misunderstood, they’ll have the opportunity to clarify. You’ll be amazed how easily we get it wrong in the heat of conflict,” Adrian said.
Gets mo na ‘yung power of listening?
Hindi nagkamali si God nung cinreate ka niya with 2 ears and 1 mouth.
Ibig sabihin lang nito na you should listen twice as much as you speak.
Ganyorn!
BreakThrough Relationship Conflict Tip #2: Mag-meet halfway.
Ang relationship hindi parang tug of war, Breaker.
‘Yung tipong maghihilahan kayong 2 kung kaninong decision ang dapat sundin kasi sa tingin mo ikaw or siya ang mas tama.
Ano ang better gawin?
Find a middle ground.
Sample na lang.
Kung g na g ka kasi halos buong time ng jowa mo napupunta sa kakalaro ng COD, beke nemen puwedeng gumawa kayong schedule?
Like, after work puwede siyang maglaro pero pagdating ng 10pm video call time na kayo.
O ‘di kaya…
Kung nase-stress ‘yung jowa mo kasi hindi ka makapag-decide kung saan kakain tuwing magde-date kayo, beke nemen pwedeng mag-plan na ahead?
Maghanap na kayo ng kakainan online tapos check niyo na rin ‘yung menu para pagdating sa place, order na agad.
So, yes, it is possible to find a middle ground or to meet halfway.
Sabi nga ni Rico Blanco sa kanta niyang Antukin, “Kung ayaw may dahilan, kung gusto palaging mayro’ng paraan.”
Remember na sa isang relasyon it’s not me against you, it’s “us” working together as a team.
BreakThrough Relationship Conflict Tip #3: Mag-take a break muna hanggang kumalma.
Okay lang mag-ask ng space to breathe saglit.
Kapag pinilit mo kasi baka lalo lang lumala ‘yung away, Breaker.
‘Wag ka raw mag-start ng conversation “if you feel overwhelmed by emotion because it clouds your thinking and distorts things,” explanation ni Michael Batshaw, LCSW, in an article How Conflict Can Improve Your Relationship written by Margarita Tartakovsky of PsychCentral.
Alam mo naman kapag emotional tayo, lumalabas ang pang-best actor or best actress speech natin…
“Nagbago ka na! Hindi mo na ako mahal!”
“Wala kang kwenta! How dare you do that to me?”
“Napapagod na ‘kong ipaglaban tayo! Hindi ko na kaya.”
‘Di ba?
The goal is ‘wag na umabot sa point na ‘to so it’s wise to know when to step back muna.
Then, mag-usap kapag kalma na kayong 2.
“The atmosphere has to stay emotionally safe enough so that both people can put out each of their ideas/feelings/experience about the conflict and then they can have a respectful conversation about it without attachment to who is right or who is wrong,” sabi ni Robert Solley, Ph.D, in the same article by PsychCentral.
Ready ka na ba to face your partner and handle your conflict?
Alam mo, hindi naman kapag sinabing “conflict” masama na agad sa relationship niyo…
Totoo na “when conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship,” sabi ng HelpGuide in their article Conflict Resolution Skills.
Pero “when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people,” they added.
‘Yown!
Let us know on the comment section kung helpful ba ang BreakThrough relationship conflict tips namin for you. You can BreakThrough!
One last paalala, Breaker, bago ka umalis…
While our prayer for your relationship is to be stronger and healthier, ibang usapan naman kung nangingibaw na ang fear mo sa partner mo because he/she tries to control you, threaten you, or scare you.
Please connect with us kung ganun because you may be in an abusive relationship.
Text us anytime 0999-227-1927 or call 0931-805-0802.
You can also message us sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page or Instagram account or you can email us.