Naka-meet ka na ba ng taong laging negative?

Parang ganito…

Negative people 01

They complain and whine sa lahat ng bagay or tao.

Laging naka-focus on what could go wrong and expect the worst.

Naiirita or binabara ka when you try to be optimistic.

How do you deal with a pessimist friend? Colleague? Co-worker? Or family member? May hope ba? Makaka-BreakThrough ka pa ba?

Oo, you want to be there for them pero minsan talaga (or madalas), nakakaubos ng brain cells. Nakakapagod.

Alam din namin ‘yang “kainin mo na ako lupa” moments mo para lang makaiwas sa pessimistic view nila in life.

Pero alam mo, Breaker, may revelation ‘to si Mark Goulston, MD in his article How to Deal with Complainers, Whiners and Pessimists from Bottom Line Inc.

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Hindi naman daw lahat ng pessimists may intensyong manira ng mood ng isang tao. Most of them don’t have an idea na ganun na ang effect nila sa iba.

“After sharing their unhappiness, frustration, or disenchantment with life, they feel temporary relief. They don’t consider the possibility that the behavior bringing them such relief causes other people to feel worse,” in-explain niya.

Ganyorn!

So, paano na?

Negative people 03

Establish boundaries and safeguard your emotional health with these BreakThrough tips on how to deal with pessimists in a loving and compassionate way.

We repeat, loving and compassionate way dahil sabi sa Proverbs 15:1 NIV, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

G na!

BreakThrough tip #1: Don’t try to solve their problems.

We know you mean well pero ‘di ba na-try mo nang magbigay ng advice pero waley pa rin?

May ibabato pa rin siyang negative sa ‘yo. Hindi siya nauubusan ng bala.

Kapag sinabi mo namang “stay positive,” lalo lang siyang nati-trigger.

Alam mo kung bakit?

The truth is “the chronic complainer doesn’t want advice on how to improve his situation. He wants company in his downbeat view of the world. Even if he asks for your input, you are likely to wind up in a spiral where all your suggestions are rejected or lead to new complaints, and both of you will get progressively more annoyed,” sabi na ‘yan ni Mark.

True ‘di ba?

Negative people 04

Ang puwede mong gawin kapag naipit ka sa ganitong situation is to ask the person gently or in a friendly tone.

This is how Mark put it, “Are you looking for advice, or do you need to vent? If venting would be helpful, I can listen for five minutes. After that, I’ll have to do something else or I will wind up in a bad mood—and that won’t be good for either of us.”

Siyempre you say it in your own way, depende sa kung paano kayo mag-usap ng friend or loved one mo.

Gets?

BreakThrough tip #2: Change the direction of your conversation.

Kumbaga sa driving, mag-detour ka.

Meron kasing tinatawag na technique called appreciative inquiry. It “is the process of asking questions to help the person gain a more positive outlook,” sabi ‘yan ni Deep Patel in his article How to Deal With Negative People Who Just Aren’t Going Away in Asia Pacific – Entrepreneur.

Bigyan ka naming example.

Let’s say nagra-rant na naman siya about sa previous company niya, what you will do is to ask questions like “What are some good things that came out of that experience?” or “What would you like to see happen next time?”

“Reframing the negative language helps them focus on how to achieve a brighter future in a positive way,” sabi ni Deep.

Magkakaroon ‘yan ng “aha!” moments kasi mare-realize niya na may positive or good naman palang nangyari sa past niya.

Wait! May isa pa…

Negative people 05

Another way is to “guide the conversation toward neutral topics by gently acknowledging what they are saying before moving on to something new,” he said.

Parang ganito, “I’m so sorry na kailangan mo pa pagdaanan ‘yun. If I were in your position, hindi ko rin alam kung ano ang mararamdam ko. BTW, ang galing mo mag-report kahapon, ah. Na-impress si boss.”

Ganyorn!

Speaking of, here’s…

BreakThrough tip #3: Find the gold in them.

Sa totoo lang, Breaker, pessimists are not only negative to others but also to themselves.

Sabi ni Celestine Chua in her article 9 Helpful Tips To Deal With Negative People in Lifehack, “If you already feel negative around them, imagine how they must feel all the time.”

Imagine battling with your inner critic day in, day out. Ang speech mo lagi sa sarili mo, “Talunan ka!” or “Wala ng pag-asa!”

Kaya ‘yang simpleng, “Ang galing mo mag-report kahapon, ah. Na-impress si boss,” may impact ‘yon.

Mukha lang wala kasi malamang ire-reject niya ‘yung compliment mo, pero may kurot ‘yun sa puso niya. Pramis.

So, find the gold in them. Saan ba siya magaling? Ano ba ‘yung like mo sa person na ‘to? Ano ‘yung maliliit na bagay that the person does to you na naa-appreciate mo?

“That’s the first seed of positivity you’re planting in him/her and it’ll bloom in the long-term,” she said.

May hope, Breaker!

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We know how hard and draining it is to be around with a person na laging negative, but we can’t also neglect the fact na need din niya ng help.

Pag-pray ka namin pati ‘yung friend or loved one mo, okay lang ba?

Text mo kami anytime sa 0999-227-1927 or call 8-737-0-777.

Let’s BreakThrough together. Na-check mo na ba ‘yung iba pa naming social media pages?

Feel free to drop by sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page, Instagram account, and YouTube channel.

Mabuti pang i-share mo ‘yang mga ‘yan sa kanya, you’ll find daily dose of hope and encouragement to help you BreakThrough in life!

Lezgo!