Yes, and it will help you better process and cope with your grief.
Grief and loss are personal kaya hindi mo ma-co-compare ‘yung experience mo sa iba because it’s as unique as you are.
According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a psychiatrist and a pioneer in near-death studies, grief has 5 stages, namely, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Pero kailangan mong maintindihan that these stages are “tools to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of them or in a prescribed order,” Grief.com explained.
The 1st stage is denial.
Hindi mo tanggap ‘yung fact na wala na siya, you’re still in a state of shock. You think na wala nang kwenta ang buhay mo and you start to wonder how you will survive without this person. You become numb and every day is torture as you try to cling to life.
Pero alam mo, sabi ng Grief.com, “As you accept the reality of the loss and start to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly beginning the healing process. You are becoming stronger, and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you proceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to surface.”
The 2nd stage is anger.
Nagagalit ka sa sarili mo because you feel like you did not give your best nung nabubuhay pa ang loved one mo?
Sa mga taong akala mong dadamayan ka when you needed them the most? Kay God kasi feeling mo iniwan ka Niya?
Asan ba si God in the middle of all this?
Lahat nang ‘yan?
Allow yourself to feel the anger. Nasanay ka kasi that when negative emotions surface, kailangan mo itong itago or i-suppress.
Pero kabaliktaran ang totoo according to grief.com, “The more you truly feel it, the more it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal.”
The 3rd stage is bargaining.
Ito ‘yung stage where you are willing to do anything just to take away the pain that your loved one is experiencing or to spare him or her from death.
“Kung naagapan lang ‘yung paglala ng sakit niya, hindi sana nangyari ‘to.”
“God, lahat gagawin ko ibalik mo lang siya.”
“What if I’ve done things differently, hindi ko sana nararamdaman ‘yung ganitong sakit.”
Naiisip mo ba ang mga ito?
When you try to go back in time, wishing you could have prevented the tragedy from happening.
The 4th stage is depression.
Dadating sa point na mag-si-sink ang lahat and you will slowly move to your new reality that the person is gone.
In this stage, the days get darker and you might find yourself in intense sadness and loneliness. Gusto mo na lang i-isolate sarili mo because what’s the point of continuing with life kung hindi mo na siya makakasama?
But depression is necessary in your healing process.
Losing the person you love with all your heart is like losing yourself, so depression is an appropriate response to that great loss.
Do not invalidate your depression.
The 5th stage is acceptance.
“This stage is about accepting the reality that our loved one is physically gone and recognizing that this new reality is the permanent reality,” grief.com explained.
You no longer deny the loss, but you learn to adapt sa mga pagbabago lalo na sa bahay and to adjust to the new responsibilities and tasks.
Hindi ibig sabihin na kinalimutan mo na siya o nawala na ‘yung sakit, pero dito mo matututunan mabuhay ulit in this new norm.
Coping with the death of your loved one is not easy, but if you give grief some time, something beautiful can be birthed out of your pain. It’s ok na magdaan ka sa pagluluksa.
Whatever stage you find yourself in, our hotline is open 24/7 para damayan ka.
Hindi ka nag-iisa kaya tawagan lang kami sa 8-737-0-777 or text us at 0999-227-1927.
You can also reach us sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page or Instagram account or you can email us.
hanggang ngayon nararamdaman ko pa rin yung 2nd and 3rd stage mula ng mawala si Papa ko?????
We’re sorry to hear that, Glennie. Ramdam din ni God ang pain ng pagkawala ng papa mo at naiintindihan ka Niya. Iniwan ka man ng papa mo pero you still have a Father in Heaven who will never leave you, and He is always with you. Gusto mo ba ng kausap at magpi-pray for you, tawag ka lang sa anytime 8-737-0777. God bless you!
i need some advice.i have lost a great confidante great bestfriend and bf. im in too much pain
Hi Joanne! It is our pleasure to guide and pray for you. Please feel free to call our hotline number 8-737-0-777 or text us at 0999-227-1927, we are here for you 24/7. God bless you!
Isa PO ako sa nakakaranas ng hirap sa pagluluksa sa aking papa… Di ko po alam kung ano ang tama kong gawin o ikilos sa pagkawala nya. Nahihirapan po ako.
Hi Grace! Ikinalulungkot namin na malaman ang pagkawala ng father mo. Okay lang na umiyak at hayaan mo lang ang sarili mo na maramdaman ang pain, grief and sadness sa pagkawala niya dahil ito ang totoong nararamdaman mo. Communication is one of the best ways para makatulong sa iyong pinagdadaanan, you can talk to your loved ones at mga trusted friends mo. At higit sa lahat, pwede mong sabihin kay God ang lahat ng nararamdaman mo dahil nariyan lang Siya para i-comfort ka. Sabi nga sa bible, Our Father in Heaven is the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. Gusto ka din namin makausap, tawag ka lang sa amin sa 8737-0777. God bless you!
My husband of almost 40 yrs died of stage 4 ling cancer 3 months ago. We are bith Christian, but there are times I doubt my faith in God. I prayed hard ever since he was diagnosed last Oct. I bargained with God to take me instead because I was also had uterine cancer and was just declared cancer free last year. But 7 months later my husband had stage 4. God promised a reunion in heaven for His children but I find it so hard to accept what happened.
Good day, Leah. We’re sorry to hear of your loss. Know that God understand your pains and sees how you struggle to move on. We pray that God will heal you, comfort you and strengthen you, in Jesus name. Feel free to call our hotline 8-737-0-777 or text us at 0999-227-1927, for guidance and prayer. God bless you.