When the LORD saw that it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone, He created Eve.

Simula pa lang, alam na ni LORD na hindi natin kaya mag-isa, at kakailanganin natin ang iba para mabuhay.

“No man is an island,” ika nga nila. That’s why having friends is very important in life. But only if… they are good to and for you.

Because sad to say, may mga tao na mas pipiliin na lang mag-isa kesa magkaroon ng fake friends or mga kaibigan na hindi totoong may pakialam sa kanila. Ang iba nanggagamit lang, at meron ding mga bad influence sa buhay.

Kung naranasan mo nang magkaroon ng mga ganyang kaibigan, Breaker, hugs to you! Know that there are still many good people out there and may pag-asa pa na magkaroon ka ng genuine friends.

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And to do that, here are 5 red and green flags to look out for in friendships. 

Red and green flags to look out for in friendships #1:

Red flag: You don’t feel safe around them. 

Do you constantly try hard to fit in? Marami bang pagkakataon na feeling mo kailangan mong magbago para sa kanila? Or magustuhan ang mga gusto nila, kahit ayaw mo naman sana?  

Breaker, ma-ko-consider ito na red flag dahil mas importante sa ‘yo ang approval nila kesa sa kung ano ang gusto mo or ano ang gusto ni LORD. Lalo na kung wala kang assurance sa puso mo na loyal sila sa ‘yo, or madali lang para sa kanila ang ilaglag ka. Kasama na rin dito ang backstabbing and spreading your secrets to others.

Green flag: You can be yourself. 

When you’re with the right people, it’s easy to be vulnerable because you know they won’t judge you. You feel safe and you trust them with what’s going on in your life. 

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Kaya mo ring magpaka-jejemon at loka loka kapag kasama mo sila. xD

Kumbaga, hindi ka nahihiyang maging “ikaw” sa harap nila.

Red and green flags to look out for in friendships #2: 

Red flag: You sense that they’re competing with you. 

Alam mo ‘yung feeling na dapat hindi ka lamang sa kanila dahil nagagalit sila kapag nakikita kang umaangat? ‘Yung gusto nila na lamang sila lagi sa ‘yo? Naku, sakit sa ulo ‘yan. Haha! Kapag ganyan, hindi ‘yan tunay na kaibigan, Breaker. 

Green flag: You can freely celebrate your successes and milestones. 

Dahil ang tunay na kaibigan, sumusuporta sa ‘yo kahit gaano pa kalaki or kaliit ang na-achieve mo. Dahil para sa kanila, ang success mo ay success din nila. Kaya humanap ka ng ganitong kaibigan, or maging supportive friend ka rin. Mas masarap ang tagumpay kung may mga mahal ka sa buhay na ma-shi-share-an mo nito.

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Red and green flags to look out for in friendships #3:

Red flag: You’re influenced to do bad stuff. 

Pi-nu-push ka ba nilang gawin ang mga ayaw mo gawin para lang maipakita kuno ang loyalty mo? Tsk, tsk. Delikado ang ganito, Breaker. 

Naaalala mo ba na lagi kang pinagsasabihan ng magulang mo to stay away from bad influences? Makinig ka sa kanila, dahil kahit ang Bible mismo nagsabi nito.

Don’t fool yourselves. Bad friends will destroy you” (1 Corinthians 15:33, CEV). 

Kaya be careful kung ano ang influence ng mga kaibigan mo sa ‘yo. Kasi may mga panahon na sila mismo ang nakasisira sa buhay mo.

Green flag: You grow healthily together. 

Good friends are a good influence and they encourage you to do good things. They are also essential for you to grow as a healthy and responsible individual. Tinutulungan ka nilang maging mabuting tao, anak, at follower ni LORD. Sinasamahan ka nila sa pag-grow mo at gano’n ka rin sa kanila.

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Masaya ang buhay kapag may mga mabubuti kang kaibigan, Breaker. Because you water each other and you grow healthily together. Nux!

Red and green flags to look out for in friendships #4:    

Red flag: You’re being tolerated. 

Do you have a friend na sulsolera/sulsolero? Kahit alam nila na mali ang ginagawa mo ay sinusuportahan ka pa rin. Katulad ng pag-chi-cheat, pang-aagaw sa iba, or ang mga bagay na nakasasama sa buhay ng isang tao.

Red flag ito, Breaker. Dahil ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit kailangan natin ng kaibigan ay para may magsabi sa atin kung ano ang tama at mali sa tuwing nabubulag tayo ng ating nararamdaman. Actually, may article kami about dito. Why Having Friends and Being Accountable to Them Is Important in Overcoming Temptation.

Green flag: You hear them say hard truths that are good for you. 

Friends who get angry when you do bad things are good friends. Sila ang may tunay na pakialam sa ‘yo dahil hindi nila hinahayaan na mapasama or mapariwara ka.  

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May kaibigan ka ba na tinatakbuhan mo para humingi ng payo dahil alam mong prangka at honest siya sa ‘yo? Then, you’re blessed to have that friend! Not everyone has a friend who is brave enough to say the hard truths just to protect you. And since they are rare, they are indeed gems! 

Red and green flags to look out for in friendships #5: 

Red flag: You feel invalidated and devalued. 

Gusto mo sanang mag-share sa kanila ng ganaps mo sa buhay, pero every time you try to open up to them, binabalewala nila ang pinagdaraanan mo, saying that it’s “not that bad” kahit hirap na hirap ka na. You feel invalidated and devalued kapag kasama mo sila. At ang mas masakit dito, naniwala ka sa kung ano ang opinyon nila sa ‘yo. That’s why you’re not that confident and you have low self-esteem kasi ‘yun ang pinaparamdam sa ‘yo ng friends mo.

But, Breaker, this is not the truth. Maybe you just joined the wrong group of people. Because the truth is, you are valuable and your voice matters.

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Green flag: You feel heard and respected. 

Alam ng mga totoo mong kaibigan ang tunay mong halaga. That’s why genuine friends listen to you and value your opinion. They are also willing to hear you out even though you might disagree with each other. Para sa kanila, your friendship is more important than trying to prove who is right or wrong. Also, big deal sa kanila ang mga bagay na big deal din sa ‘yo. They won’t try to belittle your struggles and won’t compare themselves to you.  

Dahil ang tunay na kaibigan, binibigyan ng halaga ang nararamdaman mo. 

Katulad ni Jesus.

Alam namin na gusto mong magkaroon ng mga kaibigan na puro green flags ang ipinapakita; but at some point in everyone’s life, masasaktan at ma-di-disappoint talaga tayo ng mga mahal natin sa buhay. Walang perfect sa mundo, Breaker. We are all flawed human beings just trying to be good and obey the LORD on most days.

But the good news is, nandiyan si Jesus! He can be your Best Friend because He called you His friend, too. You can also ask Him to lead you to the right people who can be your friends. 

Katulad namin… chour! #shamelessplug 

We want to be your friend and journey with you sa struggles mo, Breaker, so contact us, oki? 

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