Gusto mo ba i-comfort ang friend mong in pain but you don’t know how?
Beke nemen ikaw si “Ako nga… grabe ‘yung pinagdaanan ko,” type of friend.
O ‘di kaya si “Ikaw lang nag-iisip niyan,” friend kapag nagshe-share sa ‘yo.
O beke nemen ikaw si friend na “Sabi sa Bible, dapat ganito gawin mo,” ang linyahan.
Maybe natatakot ka lang talaga kasi hindi mo alam kung ano‘ng sasabihin in the first place or kinakabahan ka sa “awkward silence.”
We gotchu, Breaker.
We admire your willingness and sincerity to comfort someone you love kasi sa panahon ngayon marami ang hurting and struggling in life.
Sometimes nga lang you’ll only bring more harm than good if you’re not going to be careful with your words and actions.
So, ano ang need mong gawin?
BreakThrough Step #1: Listen muna.
Qiqil na qiqil mag-advice ‘yarn?
Ikalma mo, Breaker. Patapusin mo muna mag-share ‘yung friend mo because that’s one of the ways para ipa-feel sa kaniya that you’re a safe place.
“You need to know the whole story and what kind of conversation ang gusto ng friend mo,” sabi ni Breaker Neo in his BreakTambayan video.
Gusto niya ba manghingi ng advice from you? Or gusto niya lang ng may makikinig sa kaniya?
Remember na hindi Math subject ang friend mo para i-problem solve ang bawat problema niya.
Sometimes, your friend just needs a shoulder to cry on.
BreakThrough Step #2: Acknowledge their feelings.
Turn your “‘Wag ka na malungkot,” to “Gets ko bakit nararamdaman mo ‘yan ngayon.”
Why?
“We have to make them feel na ang emotions nila ay valid at ang feelings nila ay understandable,” sabi pa ni Breaker Neo.
Breaker, you can’t dictate someone what to feel and not to feel. Hindi mo sila mafo-force sa kung ano “dapat” ang ire-react nila because each one of us is unique.
Nararamdaman nila ‘yun kasi “‘yan ang way of coping na alam ng bodies and brains nila,” he added.
BreakThrough Step #3: Samahan silang mag-process.
Allow them to talk.
Allow them to feel their feelings.
Allow them to just be themselves without the fear na baka ma-judge sila or mabara ng sarcastic mong mga banat.
“Minsan kasi, ang greatest help na puwede mong ibigay ay hindi solution or advice kundi ang presence mo when they need you the most,” he said.
You need to understand na it’s not easy to “see the light at the end of the tunnel,” kapag nababalot ka ng fear, distress, or worry.
Pero ‘yung assurance mo na hindi sila mag-isa sa laban ng buhay… it’s enough.
BreakThrough Step #4: Ask questions.
Paano naman kung ready ka to listen pero ayaw mag-open up ng friend mo?
Don’t be afraid na mag-ask ng questions.
‘Yung simpleng….
“Kumusta ka, friend?”
“Okay ka lang ba?”
“Ano‘ng nangyari?”
It can change someone’s life because “it shows na talagang concerned ka sa kanila. Napaparamdam nito na willing ka talagang marinig ang stories nila,” explanation ni Breaker Neo.
Napaparamdam nito na kahit tight ang schedule mo, there is someone who went the extra mile to make them feel na they are seen. They are heard. They are important.
BreakThrough Step #5: Mirror them.
Ano‘ng ibig sabihin neto?
Watch the full BreakTambayan show below with Breaker Neo. You can be that friend who listens, comforts, and supports the RIGHT WAY.
I-share mo naman sa comment section if naka-help ang BreakThrough article na ‘to sa ‘yo.
Do you want us to pray for your friend? Text ka lang sa 0999-227-1927 or call 0931-805-0802.
Or do you need encouragement before you approach your friend? You can also reach us sa iCanBreakThrough Facebook page or Instagram account or email us.