Are you a YES person?
Yes, sa lahat ng requests or favors.
Yes, sa lahat ng opportunities or chances.
Yes, sa lahat ng gala or meetings.
Kulang na lang sabitan ka ng “Most selfless” award. People see you bilang pinakamabait, pinakamatulungin, or pinakamapagbigay na person na nakilala nila, but when all is said and done, kumusta ka?
Ginawa mo naman ang lahat for them pero hindi mapapalitan ng panandaliang saya ng “Thank you! Da best ka talaga!” nila ‘yung bigat na nararamdaman mo…
Ramdam ka namin, Breaker.
Sa totoo lang, most of that stem from people-pleasing issues.
“The truth is, for many of us, saying “no” is hard! We want others to like us and accept us; we want to show up for them, meet their expectations, and please them,” sabi ni Alena Gerst, LCSW in her article You Know Saying ‘No’ Is Important For A Healthy Life. Here’s How To Actually Do it by mindbodygreen.
Aray q poh.
Ikaw ba ‘to, Breaker?
Dahil diyan, basahin mo ‘tong 3 BreakThrough reasons why learning to say “no” is important.
BreakThrough reason #1: Say “no” because you need to set boundaries.
Gets namin na it’s hard to say “no” especially if you feel like mali ang tumanggi or humindi sa iba.
Nakasanayan mo na ‘to, eh.
Pero, basahin mo ‘tong sinabi ni Maryann Stigen, Licensed Mental Health Counselor, in her article How Setting Boundaries Can Save Your Relationship from Seattle Christian Counseling.
“A lack of boundaries can create significant issues because, without them, you can lose a definite sense of who you are. The goal of any relationship isn’t to become completely absorbed into another, abandoning your individual sense of self. That’s what living without boundaries actually does.”
Na-feel mo na ba ‘yung parang “hindi na ako ‘to” pero ginagawa mo pa rin for the sake of others?
It means they’re stepping already sa boundaries mo and you need to draw the line.
One way to do this is need mong maging clear sa pag-identify ng boundaries mo.
Important ba sa ‘yo to spend quality time with your family kapag rest day? Baka you need to say “no” to requests na will require you to work during weekend.
Goal mo bang makapag-ipon this year? Baka you need to say “no” sa mga “labas tayo” ng friends mo.
May bagong job responsibilities? Baka you need to say “no” muna to prior commitments para ma-give mo ‘yung best mo sa mga task assigned to you.
Magandang pagmuni-munihan ‘to, Breaker.
BreakThrough reason #2: Say “no” because you need to protect your mental health.
Masaya siya kasi nag-“yes” ka, eh paano naman ikaw?
Paalala lang ha na hindi ka superhuman.
“Every one of us has limited time, energy, and resources. If we say yes to everything, we’ll end up exhausted, empty, over-extended, and bitter,” sabi ni Kevin G. Harney in an interview How to Say No and Not Feel Guilty: An Interview with Kevin G. Harney by Bible Gateway.
Ikaw ba ‘to ngayon?
Ganito na lang gawin mo, Breaker.
Bago ka mag-agree to someone asking you a favor, pag-isipin mo muna. Hindi totoong na-corner ka kaya wala ka ng choice but to say “yes”.
Try mo gamitin ‘yung line na, “Sige, balikan kita. Pag-isipan ko muna.”
Makikita mo na that person will respect your decision, nauunahan ka lang ng fear na baka ma-disappoint mo siya.
In the muni-muni period, ask yourself…
“Gusto ko ba talaga ‘tong gawin and paano ba ‘to makaka-affect sa ‘kin?” or better yet ask, “Ito ba talaga ang pinapagawa sa ‘kin ni Lord and paano ba ‘to makaka-affect sa ‘kin?”
If yes and ginagawa mo ‘to out of genuine love and care, then G na ‘yan.
If no and nakikita mo that it will take a toll sa life mo, then politely decline.
Clear lang namin ah, hindi ibig sabihin nito eh wala ka ng pake sa iba and you will just say “no” to everything.
Basahin mo ‘tong pagkaka-explain ni Dr. Henry Cloud in his article Saying No is Enough — You Don’t Have to Justify It published on Boundaries, “Great relationships, families, friendships, and businesses are only built when people can get beyond their own self-centeredness and sacrifice for the greater good and others.”
“The situations I am talking about are the ones where you truly do not want to perform that particular gift of time or energy. It is not something you truly want to give. It is a request to which your real, heartfelt answer is ‘no,’” he added.
BreakThrough reason #3: Say “no” because you need rest.
Naka-experience ka na ba ng legit na pahinga, Breaker?
Hindi ‘yung pahinga na naisingit lang sa araw mo, but you intentionally carve out time to take a break.
To slow down.
Important na element ang rest to BreakThrough the challenges that life throws at you. Kailangan mo ng rest to replenish your energy, boost your productivity, and renew your mind.
Pero paano mo ‘yun magagawa if meeting the expectations of others is your priority?
Ayan ang reason why you are always overwhelmed and stressed out.
Promise ni Jesus na His yoke is easy, and His burden is light (Matthew 11:30). Baka kaya nabibigatan ka sa buhay kasi you’re carrying the weight of others na you’re not supposed to carry.
“Jesus invites all the weary and heavy-laden souls to come to Him (Matthew 11:28). It’s a real invitation, one that promises rest as the result. But first, you must come. And to come to Him in this moment means turning from the things you’re holding on to instead,” sabi ni Emily Freeman in her article Space for Your Soul to Breathe published in (in)courage.
Prayer namin na bigyan ka ni Lord ng wisdom to make the right decision and courage to say “no” so you can say “yes” to Jesus.
Do you need someone to pray with you?
Text us at 0999-227-1927 or call 0931-805-0802.
If naka-help ang article na ‘to sa ‘yo, share mo naman ang thoughts or takeaway mo in the comment section. We’d love to hear from you. You can BreakThrough!